Chasing the Dragon Lady
The curse of drug and alcohol addiction is a battle one can win...if and when one wants to!
Frankie Firme ~ Contributing Editor
Author's note: This piece is dedicated to all of those brave men & women who have survived the curse and sorrows of drug & alcohol addiction‘«™and are fighting everyday to help others do the same.
Published on LatinoLA: June 11, 2012
‘«™She came in subtly‘«™beautiful, sensual, and somewhat excitingly dangerous and forbidden‘«™bringing with her a handsome friend to accompany her on a mission of seduction & destruction I had not yet experienced‘«™hence, I had no defense against her charms and intentions‘«™saw her coming, but didn't know from where‘«™
At first, she flirted‘«™ then, she teased‘«™ and I was hesitant to follow her despite her amorous invitations‘«™but something deep inside me said, "I want her"‘«™she was exciting and intoxicating before I ever tasted her‘«™so I followed.
Others had spoken of her‘«™"the Dragon Lady"‘«™ one so powerful and lustful that it was hard to resist her. She made you feel "good & better" if such a concept existed in your soul before she came along‘«™so I began to chase after her.
..but she was also a heart breaker and a life taker if you let her take control of you‘«™ and she took control of many I had known‘«™and their curse was to love her above all others‘«™
Some she took to hell with her without a second thought, laughing that evil laugh ‘«™smiling that seductive smile‘«™taking control of hearts and souls with the promise of ultimate pleasure‘«™tickling their loins with fantasies that never came true‘«™and foolish men chased her through the dark ‘«™never catching her‘«™but still, the chase went on‘«™
She brought strong men to their knees, and her handsome friend turned honorable women shameful‘«™ GOD, but what a pair they are‘«™at first pleasing us‘«™then daring us to control them‘«™then‘«™they took control of us right under our noses, and we didn't even notice as they dragged us to a lower realm of human existence we had never known while we continued to chase...
In pain and sickness, to keep up the chase, we stole‘«™we lied‘«™we cheated‘«™we disrespected our families, our friends‘«™and ultimately, ourselves‘«™ while she laughed and promised more, and we got less each time‘«™and children cried because of us, but we didn't care‘«™
As a young strong man, I lived the fallacy of indestructibility of youth, and knowing everything and more‘«™while succumbing to her charms‘«™I watched as beautiful young women aged into toothless, foul smelling, ugly hags who bore crying children destined to be as cursed as they, and young men turned into squeaking swines and rats‘«™and their chances for love, life, and happiness went up in smoke like the poison they inhaled into their lungs and minds, and the evil sickness they injected into their veins and heart, and the liquid curses they drank‘«™all in the name of love for the Dragon Lady and her minions‘«™
‘«™strange‘«™this wasn't supposed to happen to me‘«™maybe somebody else‘«™somebody stupid‘«™somebody weaker‘«™somebody who didn't have their shit together‘«™but not ME !
Through heartbreak and the dark dungeons of the penal system, through the quagmire of mental hospitals, to the cold uncaring and violent streets of L.A. and despite the rejection and abandonment of family & friends & loved ones, I chased her ‘«™ wretching ‘«™ spitting ‘«™ cursing ‘«™ vomiting‘«™ destroying‘«™crying, and always losing the chase‘«™but still I chased her as she stayed just beyond my reach‘«™and still, she beckoned to me‘«™almost as if beyond a grave‘«™
‘«™and there was my only way to finally catch her, I thought‘«™beyond the grave!
With a gun in one hand, a knife in the other, and poison sitting on the table calling me‘«™I had but to make a decision‘«™how ?... what will I do when I get there?...will she be waiting for me in all her beauty, lust, and promises of fulfillment ?... what of my body and those I leave here, tethered to the earth I was ready to leave behind for her ?...
As if by a divine intervention, I suddenly saw many more of her lovers in a light‘«™ I was not the only one...as they seemed to pass through me on their way to meet her, laughing at me‘«™ and yet, she was still here near me in the dark, laughing at me as well, as if I was a fool !
Why wasn't she as faithful as she promised? Why were all these souls passing before me empty handed as she continued right next to me, laughing and calling me to be at her side? ‘«™what had made them chase her to hell for nothing?... for that matter, what kept me chasing this Dragon Lady that no one else before me had ever caught?
‘«™how could I have let her make me appear the weak and miserable fool that I was before my friends, family, and all that looked upon me? ‘«™ why was I so willing to take the express train to hell before my time? Who would care or even give a damn after I was gone?
It was then and there‘«™among the stench and decay of rotting, living corpses that the real world calls dope fiends ‘«™ that I saw a light that beckoned me to follow.
It was warm‘«™ it was soothing‘«™it even smelled clean...and it came from above, a direction I had forgotten to look to.
It beckoned me, in a way that I hadn't been invited to in a long, long time. This time, I wanted to follow for just myself‘«™and nobody else.
The Dragon Lady immediately called out to me‘«™baring her voluptuous flesh to me, and inviting me to take my fill at my pleasure‘«™but I saw no more pleasure‘«™.only the warm light from above that beckoned me.
She cursed me, she ridiculed me, she teased me, she insulted me, she challenged me‘«™she even tried threatening, then seducing me, using all her evil charms that had worked a hundred times before‘«™ but the light from above became stronger, warmer, and enclosed me in an aura of painless comfort that made her scream in anger & rage as I was lifted out of the sludge and slime and stench that had been my existence under her control‘«™and she seemed to burn and wither with age as the light shined upon her, exposing her ugliness to me for the first time‘«™ her wickedness was as ugly as nothing I had realized before, as she surrounded herself with men who she had turned into vermin and snakes, writhing and crawling on the ground at her clawed and dirty feet‘«™ teasing me that "you'll be back‘«™ and I'll be waiting for you", as she laughed her evil laugh that rang so loudly in my ears, and drove me to the brink of insanity before I lost consciousness‘«™
‘«™Today, I remember that‘«™ remembered that I woke up to a changed and welcoming world that I had abandoned long ago. I remember waking up with the soreness of pain slowly leaving my body. I woke up to smiles, hope, love, and the laughter of children. I felt alive again...
People no longer stare down at me. They no longer turn away in revulsion and repugnance‘«™or even in cold hearted sympathy.
I'm strong once again‘«™ I think and feel for myself‘«™ I love life, sunshine, myself, and others once again‘«™ and my heart mourns for those still in the grasp of the Dragon Lady, and those she took beyond‘«™and my lust for her is but a sad memory that I must always remember as my shield against her.
..but she's still there‘«™patiently awaiting my return to the dark‘«™giggling her evil and seductive giggle‘«™calling me from just beyond the shadows of life and my mind‘«™
‘«™but I now stand in the light of GOD, and all others who will join me in the fight against her‘«™
‘«™but she will always be there‘«™looking for new lovers‘«™beware!
Frankie Firme ~ Contributing Editor:
Frankie Firme is heard daily on world wide Internet radio Station www.eastLArevue.com ~ he has also been a Mental Health Professional for over 34 years.
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