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some might say I'm back.. but i never left....

good to be here...

By mia soto arzola
Published on LatinoLA: March 23, 2010


some might say I'm back.. but i never left....


It feels good to be back in my world of letting my voice be heard...
with freedom to express todo lo que tengo en mi
corazon....
a lot going on......
feels good to be here with so many amazing people that have
made a difference in my writing and my personal life...
Frankie Frime.. :) you were sent from up above I really believe
this.
I have been feeling the blues a bit. so many other reasons
Got back con el husband and kicked all the negative dummies out of my vida..
Went back to school y me siento refreshed and I can't believe I'm doing it.
Trying to kick the old habits is super hard.. I would say for me it's my addiction
not as bad as a drug addiction but probably worse.. because like addiction
I let myself go, everything and everyone that cared about me
I pushed away.... I didn't want to believe nor hear anyone's negative thoughts..
so at least that's what i thought...
Man am I happy I listened really heard the words that came out of Frankie Firme...
I will never forget his words. Even if I didn't want to heart them he was saying it..
keeping it real....
I have moved on and feel like I'm on my way to recovery.
and what happens? I just now feel like I'm gonna have a relapse... I know it's not right... I'm doing good, but I keep thinking what if this is the last time I'll have the chance... what if this time things will change.....all the what if's... but I was strong and hung up.. and said go home.. better her then me and I don't want any bull in my life...
I drove off and haven't turned back. but the question is still in my head "what if."
I look at my hubby and smile and thank god he gave me another chance... 16 years is a long time.... and I know that if I mess this up.. I'm gonna be lost.....
anything can be an addiction.... even a man that was no good for me once upon a time.

About mia soto arzola:
freelance writer - documentary filmmaker
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